I've never considered myself one to be very superstitious but I've always believed in signs. I've grown up into a world where everyday I find proof of a greater plan, a master design, a purpose for everything, yet sometimes even though all the signs are there, I still hold out. I would say its a fear of being rejected but that's not true. I fear settling for something that causes me to lose my whole self and miss out on the greater things in life. I was with a man, really a boy, for a very long time. In those years we were together I lost a large piece of myself in order to measure up to his twist view of what I should be. When I broke those chains and broke away from him I promised myself that I would never sacrifice my hopes and dreams for a life I wouldn't have otherwise chosen. Since I've made that decision I've stopped letting anyone get close to me in fear that I would fall for them and in return have to be the decision to be with them and follow their path or be free yet alone. A struggled with this for a year before I met him. I wouldn't say I believe in love at first sight, but I do believe in an instant connection because there was something about him that made me gravitate towards him. I'm a very guarded person, even with my family, but somehow he's managed to break down several barriers that has taken those I love the most years to climb, much less shatter. I'm not saying he's managed to do this with every wall and that he is the answer to fixing my problem. I have learned that only me can make me happy and I'm good at doing that. But I am saying when I look at his face, its the face of a man who genuinely cares for me; and to see that in his eyes is like being a child waking up on Christmas morning and knowing you got every present you asked for because to me it is, God's given me the present I've wanted but never would ask for.