Fear has captivated me, it has held my greatest hopes and dreams at Ransom, pulling me down into a twist world where I am not worthy of the simple desires... love trust and faith...
Yet though gripped with fear of betrayal and hurt I offer up a silent prayer...

Lord,

Take this doubt from my shoulders and remind me that no matter what happens your love will make me whole. Father allow me to trust in you and your plan for me. Let me not forget that you made people to be good and that I too am worthy. Father don't let me get trapped in what tv and movies show me of love stories. Father I believe that you have made a mate for me and that he loves me above others and will not hurt or abandon me. Father I ask you to instill trust and patience along with Father Confidence and self worth because in Your eyes I am precious. And you love me.

Amen.

Trying to sleep with two big dogs in your room, one on your bed on next to your bed, and worrying about your boyfriend going out is a recipe for no sleep... which is what I'm running on. Sad day

In response to my last post.................

Love sees things that other's can't. I believe with my whole heart that his love for me is real.

You can't punish the one you love for the hurt others have bestowed on you. Life is not about

using what other's have done to you as a shield not to get hurt futher, its about taking a risk

loving someone abandoning reason and just following your heart.

Its scary loving someone. I can't think of anything else but him and I am sure that nothing can stop me from loving him and that only his love can do. But sometimes I get scared that one day he is going to wake up and realize that there is still cracks even after he put me back together. To lose a man has never bothered me. I always knew there would be another around the corner... but this time, this time I know that I won't find another who loves me as tenderly, passionately, and unconditionally. And I know that I won't find a man that I trust, desire, and love as greatly as I do him. The intensity surrounds our relationship... we know how to push each other's buttons and we do... I'm just scared that one day his patience for me will run out and when he finally says "I'm tired of your crap" then I know I will fall. I'm not sure if a man can really love me unconditionally. I'm not sure what exactly he sees in me. I've always heard stories about the love of a man's life and how love knows no boundaries when its true love. I believe I truly love him but I guess the real question is whether or not this amazing wonderful love he feels and treats me with can really be like this forever or one day is he too going to "some days love me and some days not....."

Today is a day of discovery.

Love sees things others can't...

Connections are everywhere....

Embrace life, the path is set, all you have to do is follow

If life was a water, dive in

Once upon a time fairy tales never came true. Once upon a time I let someone tell me I wasn't enough, that if I wanted to be deserving I had to change, or just give up. Once upon a time I believed in myself. Once upon a time I became independent. Once upon a time I fell in love with myself again. Then once upon a time met up with you... You rode in a modern knight on a white horse... you stole my heart and swept me away. You let me be strong, you marveled in my strength. You listened to my opinions and respected I didn't need your okay. You fell for more than beauty, you fell for the soul, you taught me how to love again and not be lost my story untold. Once upon a time my fairytale came true... once upon a time I fell in love with you.

I was looking for more personality, I was looking for speciality, I was looking for uniqueness, I was looking for something new.... life had been the same for years... unhealthy, just not in a good place. I struggled to understand why I wasn't happy, I thought the idea I was in love with could get me there. But one day I woke up and realized it was never going to change. I made a tough decision through tears and yes and tears and no... I sat at that table deliberating back and forth back and forth and finally I had enough. I said no more would I be unhappy. No more would I not be enough. No more would you tell me who I was, no more would I miss out on my life. I sat you down and told you, I've lost myself, I sat myself down and told me it was for the better. Its been over a year now, and the girl who use to think she couldn't do it without you faced more struggles and conquored more challenges and came out the woman she is now, happy free and beautiful........ I was looking for more personality, I was looking for speiality, I was looking for uniqueness, I was looking for me.