Today has been one of those days of recognition. My heart has always been venerable, emotions displayed across my face tears welling easily in my eyes. As I've grown older I've learn to hide those emotions (with the help of four years of ROTC) from most everyone excluding my family. I tend to suppress alot. Last night I finally took a pick to my heart of stone and started to chip down the rock surrounding my heart. I am capable of love. I love my family, my pets, my sorority sisters... but when it came to men I feel a sense of distrust and can't help but be wary. I believe all women are, maybe not their first love... first love is always blind. I know we all have our issues and hang ups and life is about recognizing those and learning to overcome them. I've been afraid to lose someone before, but in the end I knew it was for the best so I cut those strings myself. I've dated alot this last year. But I've never been able to balance my freedom with understanding and commitment. I let my heart be shielded because the timing just wasn't right in my life. I'm young. I'm only nineteen so in retrospect I have years to find someone. My preacher said on Easter how he chose his wife to be his partner in this life. Again I am nineteen and have plenty of time to change and grow... YET..
I met my best friend by chance through a mutual friend on Feb.6th.2010 He is different from any type of man I've ever known or cared about. He wants to teach me things I don't know or understand and he's letting me teach him about the things I know. We have different upbringings yet somehow they're not that different at all. He makes me laugh for no reason at all, and when I'm with him everyday tasks are treats. He is my partner in crime, the person I am the most comfortable with outside of my family. His little habits make me fall in love with him more everyday. Its eerie how much we have in common. He is the sunset to my evening and the stars in my sky. The man I love most in this world is my father. My father taught me to love the Lord with my whole heart, my father has done his best to give me and my sister the world, and would gladly give his own life to keep me in this world. I see so much of my father in Joshua. He may have had bumps in his road like every other person. So many times I have heard him say that he must have a someone up there looking out for him to get him unscathed from so many situations, that God must have a purpose for him . The man he is, and the man I know he will become is extraordinary. He is who I have chosen to be my partner in this walk of life.
I met my best friend by chance through a mutual friend on Feb.6th.2010 He is different from any type of man I've ever known or cared about. He wants to teach me things I don't know or understand and he's letting me teach him about the things I know. We have different upbringings yet somehow they're not that different at all. He makes me laugh for no reason at all, and when I'm with him everyday tasks are treats. He is my partner in crime, the person I am the most comfortable with outside of my family. His little habits make me fall in love with him more everyday. Its eerie how much we have in common. He is the sunset to my evening and the stars in my sky. The man I love most in this world is my father. My father taught me to love the Lord with my whole heart, my father has done his best to give me and my sister the world, and would gladly give his own life to keep me in this world. I see so much of my father in Joshua. He may have had bumps in his road like every other person. So many times I have heard him say that he must have a someone up there looking out for him to get him unscathed from so many situations, that God must have a purpose for him . The man he is, and the man I know he will become is extraordinary. He is who I have chosen to be my partner in this walk of life.
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